Apr 13, 2010

Potty Training and Bottles..

Okay, first of all I just want to start out by saying that I am not the Mom that has to do things when "society" says I have to. Like potty training for instance. I know "most" parents start PT around 2 years old maybe even sooner. Not me! I do not start until my children show an interest in going to the potty. Ayla is 3.5 and she is just now potty trained but still not 100% . She wears panties all day and never has any accidents BUT she will not poopy in the potty. She does not want to, it scares her for some reason so I will not force her to do it. I do not want her crying, throwing a fit and even holding it if I make her sit on the potty when she does not want to. In my opinion, that would cause even more problems, (like constipation) for instance. Every time she has to do #2, she goes and gets me a diaper and then I put it on her and then she goes and does her thing..lol. I do not stress out over things like this, it really doesn't bother me at all. She will go when she is ready and like everyone has said, there has never been a child that is NOT potty trained by the time they start school. I just think there are more things to worry about and get stressed out over than this. Of course I would like to stop buying diapers one of these days, but we will get there. Okay on to Brennan. He is just now 2.5 and shows no interest in going to the potty at all. I have not "tried" to potty train him, I didn't start with Ayla until she turned three. Every once in a while I will ask Brennan if he wants to go to the potty and he screams 'NO" like the potty is evil so I will wait. I guess Ayla thinks that he needs to be potty trained NOW because this is what I saw the other day...

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I asked Ayla what she was doing and she said that she was teaching Brennan how to go to the potty! Alright then, just go right ahead. Oh and Brennan went right along with her... I phone and all!!! I do want to add that he did NOTHING in the potty, he sat there and just played on the I phone. Good try though Ayla!! I have to admit this was very cute and it made me laugh a little. Ayla loves being a teacher to Brennan!

Okay now that we have covered the potty issue, let's move right along to taking a bottle. Okay, it is a known fact that most pediatricians suggest stopping the bottle at ONE years old. Ayla was sick and not feeling well around her first birthday so I did not take it away from her. Shortly after that she was diagnosed with JRA and she was crying ALL THE TIME, so if a bottle made things better than a bottle she got. Again, It was not a big deal and even if she wasn't sick, I would have continued giving her a bottle if she wanted. I would however NOT put her to bed with one, I believe that could form bad habbits not to mention it is really bad on the teeth. So Ayla happily took a bottle until she was three years old. She would get one before nap time and one before bed time, so only twice a day. At three years old she decided that she did not want one anymore so I have to admit that I was happy about that, I was beginning to wonder if she was ever going to give it up. In my mind, my cut off age was four. I had already decided that if she was still taking a bottle at four, that I would have to take it away from her. I did not want her taking a bottle at four years old, the same age that she would be starting pre school, I thought that was a little old. Brennan on the other hand was off of the bottle at 18 months old, one day he wanted it and the next day he wanted nothing to do with it. So he made it very easy! Each child is different, and I truly believe that they will do these things only when they want to and when they are ready to....but then I saw this picture yesterday of four year old Suri Cruise taking a bottle

suri cruise pic 1

I was a little flabbergasted and I have to admit that I was SO GLAD that it was not my child this time..hehe...like I said, in my mind four years old is too old for a bottle but of course it is really none of my business, so I am curious, what do you all think?

24 comments:

Stephanie said...

Good for you! I am so happy to hear another mother that lets her child do things when they are ready to do them. I must admit that I did start to stress about little things like the bottle and potty training....but my mother always kept me in check and reminded me how unimportant those little things are. She would say, "so what if she still takes a bottle at 2 years old...what is it hurting". It really helped me out, and with my next child I am going to completely do it like you said...when the child is ready.

Sara said...

Kailee stopped taking her bottle at a year old, but it was on her own will. She pretty much potty trained herself at 2, as well. But, really I was expecting a battle with both of those things with her. I wasn't going to make her do anything she wasn't ready to do. They have more than enough time to be a grown up, and I figure what is it hurting for them to take a bottle? or Use a diaper? My nephew just turned 5 and is just now fully potty trained. It takes more time for some kids...so... yeah... to each their own! You're doing a great job.

Valerie said...

Amen, Lesli! Good for you! Loved this post.

Ironically, I am getting ready to do a similar post on potty training (Benjmain) b/c I found the cutest potty training seat when I was at Lowes and was needing to replace worn toilet seats. With #3 on the way, I thought the trainer seat was a great investment. I'll be sure to let you know when I post a pic!

Anyway, Benjamin is 3 years 4 months and finally started showing some potty training signs and so we did...last week! It was instant success. Oh we've had a few accidents here and there, but mostly he's on his own. Why? B/c he was developmentally ready.

Now with my daughter, I very much felt the pressure (first born) to begin training at age 2. I waited until 2 1/2 b/c I had Benjamin a couple of months after her 2nd birthday and didn't want to deal with regression, but even at 2years 6months she wasn't ready. It truly took her until age 4 to get the hang of it and now at 5 1/2, we still deal with night time bedwetting. My pediatrician says to leave her alone (we have a family history) and she'll be dry when she's ready.

Never had the bottle issue as I always nursed. The kiddos used bottles at daycare, but I always breastfed when I had them home with me. So when they turned one I just gave the daycare provider sippy cups and we went with it. But I agree, bottle is like binkies and potty training...life's too short to worry about it.

Maybe b/c I'm an older mom (40), but I've just learned to roll with the punches!

The Coleman Family said...

Good job Lesli! I am so glad that another mother does what is best for her child instead of letting "society" or pressure from other parents dictate when a child should/should not do something. I am the same way when it comes to potty training and bottles. Jackson turns 3 next week and I never forced him to begin potty training. His interest started a few months ago and he does well during the day but still wears diapers at night. As for the bottles, both Jackson and Avery take one at night before bed while I sit with them in the rocking chair. It's kind of a tradition and I think they get to feel special and like my babies by doing it. I love that time and I know when they are older, I will cherish those precious moments with them.

Kimberly said...

I love the pictures!! Ayla will train him for you!! LOL. You should be proud that you don't stress over things like this. Your right, there are more important things to stress about.

Amanda M. said...

I am the EXACT same way you are, Lesli. 100%. My youngest (Mariel) did the same thing Ayla is doing - she was potty trained about 3, but no poop on the potty. My pediatrician even said NOT to force her to poop on the potty or she'd hold it and have to have an enema! EEK! How awful! One day she just decided to go poop on the potty and it was all good. I am a firm believer in just letting them do these things when they're ready. It's not like they are going to go to Kindergarten with a bottle and a diaper. hehe. ;)

Stephanie said...

I love to hear about mom's making decisions for themselves based on their own instincts. Good job!

We weaned my girls off of their bottles at 12 months, and it was very easy because they didn't care at all. Potty training was a bit harder with Summer, and she still poops in her underwear from time to time. Camryn doesn't usually have accidents during the day, but wears pull-ups at night. I tried not to stress over it and still don't. Each kid is different, and things will happen when the time is right.

I saw that pic of Suri earlier, and it made me feel really odd, like I wasn't supposed to be seeing it. I think it's important for parents to make decisions like that based on their own feelings, but I already think Suri is a spoiled brat, so them letting her have a bottle at the age of 4 kind of goes with that. Lol

sanjeet said...

Good for you! Loved this post.
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waikikimum said...

Great post Lesli! I have three kids that are now aged between 18 and 9. My 18 and 9 yr old daughters both have Ehlers danlos syndrome. My 9 yr old spent so much time in hospital for various reasons and I too did things when they were ready. One was potty trained at 20 months and the others at 2 1/2 both day and night. Amazing I know but they just did it themselves!! Pacifiers were another story though - I never thought my girls would give them up!!! By the time I had my last child I learnt not to discuss these issues with other parents cos someone is always prepared to criticize what you do. A neighbour of mine commented that my daughter was too old to have a paci at 2 whilst her husband stood there with a cigerette in his mouth. I guess it was too hard for him to give up his bit of security lol!! Love your blog. Kathy

Lauren said...

I always hear that you just can't push them to use the potty, and it's so true! Henry still takes a bottle a day at 15 months, but I don't think he will be driving to high school with one, so I'm not worried! Ha! Love the pix of big sister teaching her baby brother! :)

Maria Lane said...

I am really glad you posted this one!!!! I have had a few people tell me thats is rediculous and bad that my children are not potty trained! They tell me to throw the diapers away and never let them wear them again, "make them go to the potty"!!! I have heard it multiple times!!! And it bothers me bc I know what the heck im doing!! I dont have to go by "any rules" and make her or them potty if they are scared to on the potty!!! MAllory is scared to poop in the potty she finally did it twice this week, but she wont today.....and Im not going to push her bc I was doing research after everyone was telling me im the mom and its my job to have her potty trained by now!!! And what I was reading was they go when they are ready and forcing them makes it worse on them and they hold it in so long, it HURTS and they get very constipated and so on! Last weekend, I was told its rediculous that they should be potty trained by now.........Well, the way I see it.....im not going to do that to my daughters. They will do it when they want and when they are ready!I thought I was in the wrong bc of what everyone has been saying to me.......so it makes me glad that there are others I know that feel the same way i do and dont want your daughter to be made to go if they are still scared! She is wearing panties all day but when she has to poop and she wont go ill get a diaper........and at night when she goes to bed.......Georgia is only 2!! But everyone thinks she should already be potty trained too!! Well, thats not happening right now bc she really wants nothing to do with it! When she sees mallory do it more and more I think she will warm up to the idea. Sorry so long!!!!haha but everyone has been on my back about this so much lately!!! And it was nice to hear maybe Im not bad after all for doing this too!
Have a great day I emailed ya! email me back! Enjoy your day!
xoxo

carissa @ lowercase letters said...

i am so with you on all of this! i'm learning that you just have to do what works for you and your child. my 14 mo. old still takes a bottle (i know that isn't crazy - but a lot of people have been surprised that he "still" drinks a bottle) because he can't handle whole milk yet (we are working on soy) so i'm still using toddler formula. and i certainly can't measure that in a cup! i can imagine that potty training will be a whole other ordeal... thankfully i have a while before tackling that one.

Party of Five said...

I hear you on the potty training. Cash and Riley will be 3 on Monday and I am finally feeling like I might try the underwear thing and see how it goes. They always say boys are harder than girls, but not my girl. She has had absolutely no interest in going on the potty until just lately. I had Cash pretty close to being potty trained a while ago, but with two and a baby it was just too hard to ever go anywhere so I put him back in diapers and decided to wait until Riley was ready too. I probably ruined him by doing that! =) we will see. Like you said, they will do it when they are ready! And I'd much rather change a diaper than all that mess in underwear and their clothes. Yuck.
The bottle thing, I don't know. I pretty much just took their bottles away right after they turned one and it was no big deal. My thing now is trying to introduce a normal cup to them. They are strictly on sippy cups or they use straws and that is okay with me, but sometimes when we go places it would be nice not to have to bring sippy cups along or make sure we have "bendy" straws! Happy Thursday!

Leslie said...

Seriously, this post made me feel so good when I read it the other day and I have been meaning to come back and comment on it!!! After the drama of potty training Cullen and him screaming at the top of his lungs," I don't want to grow up" & "I don't want to tell the truth" & who knows what else, I said Grayson could train himself, and guess what...he is!!! He is 3.5 and has just in the last month started to take an interest on his own...the gray in my hair is from Cullen's potty training so...good for you!:) I hate how some people judge you for the potty training thing, but I am so over that....:)! And no, still no definite gut feeling on the baby...I am going to do something fun on my blog soon with that so stay tuned:)!!!

thelumberjackswife said...

I hate the feeling of pressure with potty training at a certain age . . .
Let me say that most people I know who potty train super early (like before 2) and their kids weren't ready, end up having kids who are constantly having accidents.
I would rather wait until they were ready and didn't have to deal with accidents.
Good for you!

Casey said...

You are so right on! Abigail had the same poop fear as Ayla and she ended up having a prolapsed rectum from holding it. Kids do things when they are ready not when society says it's time. You are an awesome mommy!!

Sabrina said...

I'm the same way about these things. I didn't make my children stop with the bottle or paci when "society" said I should. With Sophia, she drank a bottle until she was 2 and we only took it away from her after she got a stomach bug and couldn't have one anyway. After three days of no bottle why start back up, right? She had her paci until she was 3 and that was my personal cut off age. We told her the paci fairy was coming to take her paci's to give it babies that needed them. She did surprisingly well with it.
Olivia is 1 and no longer drinks a bottle. I stopped it much earlier with her because she was showing signs that she was ready to give it up. Having an older sibling helps with those things, thankfully!
Kudos to you for not following what everyone else says we must do as mothers. We know what's best for our children!
Suri Cruise taking a bottle at 4 does seem a little odd but I won't judge. That poor child is under so much scrutiny and if a bottle makes her feel comforted then so be it. Just my two cents :-)

wife.mom.nurse said...

I believe that unless the parents think it is a problem than it is not a problem...this includes sleeping habits.

:)

I once saw a five year old walk over to his mother's shirt, lift it, and latch on. Oh my, for me, culturally that was odd. But, I know that other cultures find this to be routine. I did not judge as much as I was surprised.

The scientologists feed their babies special formula...maybe think it's great to continue it as long as possible (?)
I love that Ayla is helping Brennan. Lol!

~Julie

christy rose said...

I think that you are right on in this post too. I always let my kids potty train themselves and never made getting rid of the bottle or paci at any certain point necessary and now all of my kids except Jacob of course are using the toilet appropriately and drinking from regular cups and not one of them still sucks on a paci. LOL They are ready when they are ready. :) I loved all of the pictures of Brennan and Ayla. She is a good little helper huh? :)

kanishk said...

It was instant success. Oh we've had a few accidents here and there, but mostly he's on his own. Why? B/c he was developmentally ready.
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j.c. delgaudio said...

Try the towel potty training method.

j.c. delgaudio said...

Moms try the towel potty training method.

Anonymous said...

sweeties

Anonymous said...

i'll take her to potty lock the door and make her feel like a big girl